One sunny afternoon, two kittens, a billy goat named Cortez, and a songbird were frolicking on a beautiful little hillock. For hours the quartet jumped and wrestled and sang and danced until they could stand no longer. They stretched out in the green, green grass and gazed up at the immense welkin. About this time, Cortez yelped a most terrible yelp.
"What's the matter?" his woodland friends inquired.
"It's my mouth," Cortez whimpered. "Something is wrong with my mouth."
The bird and the kittens gathered 'round old Cortez and decided that the problem was his wisdom teeth. "Do you know what a wisdom tooth is, Cortez?" one kitten purred.
"I can't say that I do. Is it magic?" Cortez asked innocently.
"No, silly! Wisdom teeth are third molars that usually appear in billy goats about your age. They often grow in the mouth athwart, and surgery is usually necessary."
"SURGERY!?!?" Cortez yelped. "SCALPELS? FORCEPS?? SYRINGES??? I CAN'T! I WON'T MAKE IT!!!" Cortez raced away from his friends towards a small orchard nearby. He hunkered behind an old stump and started to cry.
"We should go talk to him," the songbird said. The woodland friends scoured the orchard for what seemed like an hour.
"We've looked everywhere," a kitten uttered, exhausted from all the searching.
"Wait a minute...the songbird said. "The stump! We haven't looked behind the old stump!"
They raced to the stump, and surely enough, there was Cortez, asleep in a pool of his own tears. "Look at his mouth," said a kitten, "I've never seen a frown that big before! We have a real problem on our hands, guys."
"I have an idea!" the songbird spouted, "Let's do the surgery right now! While he's asleep! He won't feel a thing!"
"What a great idea! He'll be so happy when he wakes up! Let's do it!" said a kitten.
So the three got started on the surgery, using homemade utensils from items in the forest. The three were hard at work, determined to finish the surgery before Cortez woke up.
"He's gonna be so happy!" the songbird said with a huge songbird grin.
Well, as it turns out, two kittens and a songbird are not the best oral surgeons. Actually, what the animals considered "surgery" was really just shoving pinecone after pinecone into Cortez's little billy goat mouth. Cortez died in his sleep from asphyxiation. To this very day, the bird and the two kittens are waiting by Cortez's side, waiting for Cortez to wake up, so they can yell, "SURPRISE!"
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Current Music: built to spill - velvet waltz